I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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