I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
