I smell stomach acid.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
