eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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