Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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