seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
