let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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