it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
