who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
