the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Someone shit on the floor
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
