Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
