Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize