Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
