just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
