if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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