Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
