if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
