so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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