you would pick up someone in the library
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
