My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just tell him i said nine months
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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