I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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