everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
