I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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