she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
