Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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