I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
