Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
