i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
