I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
