He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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