It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
