Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
