whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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