I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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