oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
