We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just high enough for therapy.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
