just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize