I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
