I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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