You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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