so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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