just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
