Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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