I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
