I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize