mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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