playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
