If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
