Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
