she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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