That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
