wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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