Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
