you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
