Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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