so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't turn off my feet"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
