You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
