I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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