Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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