so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize