Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
