she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
